The body is always communicating: Diagnosed with CFS at 14 years old
I remember the day like it was yesterday.
I was 14 years old and was performing in a theatre production of Pirates of Penzance. It was the second night of our performance schedule of 4 days. I had not been feeling well all day with a sore throat and other minor symptoms, but it was not like me to slow down, so I pushed through. At first it felt like mild dizziness and slight muscle spams but over the next 10 minutes it had progressed into a particularly scary situation. Somehow, in total fear, I managed to walk the 2 miles back to my home and all but collapsed when I got there.
I was taken right away to our family doctor who after some discussion and assessment of my symptoms said it looks to him like a case of ME (Myalgia Encephalomyelitis) or as it was also know in those days ‘Yuppie Flu” but we would need blood work to confirm this.
My life changed…
My parents stood there slightly bewildered at how a 14-year-old child could have this syndrome and what it would mean for the future. Over the next few days of blood work and other medical checks it was confirmed that I did indeed have ME/CFS. Over the next 12 months my life changed with ongoing bouts of dizziness, muscle spasms, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, extreme fatigue, weight loss amongst other things. My diet was changed, I was put on various medicinal protocols and told to not do any exercise. This for an active teenager turned my world upside down.
We managed to get it under control over the coming years of my adolescence and life continued but in a very different way. There were some relapses and some parts of my life that changed forever but the starkest change was that I had developed health anxiety that would continue to be a feature in my life to a greater or lesser extent for the next 15 years. I became fearful of going out into public in case I fainted or was unwell and I became extra sensitive to any symptom that arose in my body. And so, began a strange relationship with my body where I became more disconnected from knowing my body and allowed the states of anxiety and confusion to dictate the life I was living (or not actually living) but surviving.
However thankfully during my pregnancies and due to my deep maternal desire to protect and nurture my unborn children I started listening more intently to my body. I started to hear the messages of when to slow down, what foods were not good for my body, the impact of stress on my symptoms and became curious about healthy practices such a meditation, positive affirmations, gentle exercise and herbal remedies. I also become aware that I was energetically sensitive and highly empathic, as a teen I remember that I was very sensitive to other people moods and emotions and because of a lack of awareness took on their feelings as my own. Thereby stressing my body, my immune system and my nervous system depleting my own resources.
I began listening to my body…
I tell this story because part of this journey as difficult as it had been prepared me for understanding that our bodies are always communicating with us and if we stop, listen, attune and use the information that is there for us we can live a much better life.
I have since learnt that emotions, trauma and energy blockages reside somatically in the body and eventually can become dis-ease, if we ignore the signals. I have also learnt that our subconscious belief systems, ancestral coding, societal scripts become the framework for how we live, what life we experience and also how we live IN our bodies.
I am today keenly aware of the impact of creating, utilising and exploring ways of bringing ourselves and our bodies back into harmony and balance and when this is not done the potential unhealthy effect on our lives.
Building a relationship with your body’s signals allows us to harness this knowledge so we work WITH our bodies and not against them. We get to make the changes in real time before it becomes a problem that needs some medical intervention. We get to be in the place of prevention instead of cure. We also get to choose what is right for ourselves and be the champion and advocate for our own bodies.
So, what have I learnt in this journey that could help you?
Become curious about the messages your body is sending you. Keep a journal for 2 weeks to see what patterns emerge and how that relates to how you feel in your body, the emotions you experience and the week you had.
Be open to exploring new ways of being, thinking, engaging with your body. I know that this may feel clunky at first as with most things that are new to us. Tap into your intuitive inner voice that may guide you towards or away from things which impact your body, mind or emotions.
Try new things even if you start small. A guided meditation on a free app like Insight Timer, a moment of pause when you sense a pain or discomfort in your body and see if you can understand why it is there and what you can do about it.
Express your feelings in a healthy way so they can be released and not stored or remain blocked in the body: Start a journal and write down how you feel, what you are experiencing and things you cannot confidently say to others.
Build in self-care practices into your daily or weekly routine to create the space to hear your bodies whispers. We have been wrongly taught that the go-go-go culture leads to success, that you should think about others before yourself – do these sound familiar? The truth is you are solely responsible for your own wellbeing (as an adult of course) and when you are functioning in lack, fear or survival nobody wins least of all you.
I share this knowledge because I have seen how my life has changed. I live empowered by this knowledge so that when I need to make tweaks or changes I do that before it becomes a problem. I create healthy ways of being and living by listening to one of my most important assets in this lifetime – my body.
I hope this blog opens a new thought, a curious exploration or an openness to reconnecting with your bodies messages and innate wisdom. I hope it sparks the possibility of a renewed vitality and empowered state of living.
Disclaimer: this does article does not replace the need and importance of any medical advice, procedures or practices. Consult a medical professional where needed.
